Showing results by author "Dustin Gross" in All Categories

Shut Up, Change Your Socks, and Drink Some Damn Water is a brutally honest, hilariously vulgar field manual for life—served with a shot of military-grade wisdom and zero sugarcoating.

Paris is beautiful. Paris is frustrating. Paris will eat you alive—unless you know what you’re doing. So you’re dreaming of sipping espresso at a charming café, strolling along the Seine, and living your best Parisian fantasy? Fantastic. But here’s the thing: Paris doesn’t care about your dreams. The city is unforgiving to tourists, brutal to the unprepared, and an endless maze of unspoken rules. That’s where this book comes in. How to avoid tourist traps, scams, and pickpockets (without looking paranoid).

Whether you’re dealing with needy coworkers, guilt-tripping relatives, or friends who only show up when they need a favor, this audiobook arms you with real-world strategies—and laugh-out-loud lines—to say no like a pro.

Mudwater is not a village of heroes. It’s a wretched stain on the map, a place where men toil, starve, and die beneath the weight of feudal cruelty. The taxman takes what little they have, the Baron bleeds them dry, and the gods—if they even exist—have long since turned their backs. Jacques the Lame knows this better than anyone. A crippled former soldier, he has spent his years rotting in the filth, hunting rats for copper and drinking away the memories of wars fought for lords who never knew his name.

A laugh-out-loud survival guide for middle school mischief-makers! Charlie McGillicutty isn’t a troublemaker—he’s a scientist of chaos. Unfortunately, his latest experiment (involving a hamster-powered rocket) goes slightly wrong, earning him permanent lunch duty and a ridiculous punishment: write the Ultimate Guide to Being a Kid… or else.

Did you know that Zeus had the impulse control of a reality TV star on a bender? That Poseidon settled his grudges with tsunamis? Or that Ares was the god of war but somehow still managed to lose fights? Divine Dysfunction is a wild, sarcastic deep dive into the Greek and Roman gods who ruled the cosmos but couldn’t rule their own lives.