You've done the work. The therapy. The reading. The healing. You've built language for what happened, found forgiveness, made peace with things you couldn't change.

And you still jump when a door slams.

That is not a failure of healing. That is your nervous system doing the job it was assigned a very long time ago — and nobody told it the threat was over.

In this episode, I go underneath the mind work and into the body. Because trauma is not stored as a story you can retrieve and resolve. It is stored as sensation. As muscle tension. As a heart that races before a single thought arrives. And until we understand that, we will keep wondering why we are still reacting to things that should no longer have power over us.

In this episode, I cover:

• What dissociation actually is — and why it is not weakness
• What I did to survive years of domestic violence, which I am still making peace with
• What I recognized in every survivor I sat with as a forensic nurse — and what it cost me to not be able to fix it
• Why the startle response lives in the body long after the mind has moved on
• What the research of van der Kolk, Porges, and Levine tells us about why healing has to happen at the level of the nervous system — not just the mind

This episode also includes a body-based grounding practice to help your nervous system learn what your mind already knows.

Your body kept you safe. Now we help it rest.

REFERENCES

van der Kolk, B. — The Body Keeps the ScoreKey concept: Trauma is stored as sensation, not narrative. The body holds what the mind cannot fully process.

Porges, S. — The Polyvagal Theory

Key concept: Neuroception — the nervous system’s automaticthreat-detection system that operates beneath conscious awareness.

Levine, P. — Waking the Tiger: Healing TraumaKey concept: Somatic Experiencing — the incomplete discharge of threat energy and how the body holds unresolved survival responses.

Walker, L. E. — The Battered Woman SyndromeKey concept: Impression management in domestic violence survivors — the protective curation of a public self

CONTENT NOTE

This post discusses trauma, family systems, and emotional healing. If anything here brings up strong feelings or memories, please take care of yourself and reach out for support. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — free, confidential, 24/7. If you are outside the U.S., international crisis resources are available at findahelpline.com. You do not have to navigate this alone.

ABOUT THE SHOW

The Fan in the Window: Interrupting What We Inherit is hosted by Tressa L. Bell, MBA, BSN, RN — author, podcaster, registered nurse, and former forensic nurse.This podcast is about trauma, nervous systems, generational patterns, and the complicated, imperfect work of healing. Each episode blends personal story with research-backed frameworks to help you recognize and interrupt what you inherited — so the next generation doesn't have to carry it too.This didn't start with you…but you can interrupt it.

GET THE BOOK📖

The Fan in the Window: How We Inherit Trauma — And How We Interrupt ItAvailable now on Amazon → amazon.com/author/tressalbellA companion self-help book is also in the works. Stay connected for updates.

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🌐 Website: thefaninthewindow.com📸 Instagram: @tressalbell👤 Facebook: tressalbell🎵 TikTok: @tressalbell▶️ YouTube: tressalbell🐦 X / Twitter: @tressalbell39905📩 Substack: tressalbell.substack.com

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DISCLAIMER

This post is not therapy, medical advice, or psychological treatment. Tressa L. Bell is not your therapist. Content is for educational and informational purposes only.

This didn't start with you…but you can interrupt it. 🪟