Is it bullying, or is it a bossy friend and messy recess dynamics? In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down the difference between bossiness, boundary-breaking, and bullying for elementary-aged kids, especially during unstructured time like recess, lunch, and the sidelines. You'll learn a simple decision tree plus the Rule of 3, Pattern, Power, Harm, so you can get out of "he said/she said" and start building self-advocacy skills early.

• How to sort friendship problems into three lanes: bossy, boundary-breaking, or bullying
• A kid-friendly bullying definition: Pattern + Power + Harm
• Why unstructured time (recess, lunch, sidelines) is where this shows up most
• How to validate your child's feelings without turning your kitchen table into "recess court"
• Simple scripts kids can use to set boundaries, exit, and get help
• Why reporting isn't snitching and how to teach upstander skills
• What to say to the school when it's happening on school grounds

Pick one. One is enough.

• Practice one boundary sentence plus one exit move in a 60-second role play
• Use the 3-Lane Debrief after school: feelings → facts → plan
• Micro-connection: "I'm on your team. One good thing, one hard thing."
• Micro-boundary: set a 10-minute "friend talk" window earlier (no bedtime rehash)
• Trend tracker (tiny version): for one week, jot one line: where/when/what/impact

• 🌋 Volcano Feelings Freebie: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments
• 💛 Big Feelings Decoder: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder

If you'd like to support Amy's fundraiser for the Kyle Pease Foundation, you can donate here:
https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser

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  https://open.spotify.com/show/3lRwfCyRYGLWnUYHKnqhJl
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Bullying is commonly defined by repetition or pattern, a power imbalance, and harm or impact, which is why "Pattern, Power, Harm" is such a helpful parent filter. Unstructured settings like recess, lunch, and sidelines are often where social power dynamics show up most clearly, so kids need scripts and adults need a plan when safety is involved. This episode also emphasizes teaching kids the difference between "tattling" and reporting for safety, so they feel confident getting adult help when something is stuck or harmful.

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

End-of-year teacher meetings can leave parents with feelings and vague feedback, but no real plan. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares a simple way to turn "transitions are hard" and "let's see how next year goes" into Owner + Data + Date so you leave with clear next steps, a fall review point, and a one-page handoff for next year's teacher.

• How to turn "He struggles with transitions" into something specific you can actually plan for
• The Owner + Data + Date framework: who does what, what you track, and when you review
• Which simple data points matter most (without turning school into a spreadsheet project)
• How to ask for supports that are specific and consistent, not just "we do breaks"
• How to get a one-page handoff so you're not starting over in August
• What to say when you're worried about "Do we need more support or testing next year?"

• Write one sentence you'll use in the meeting and bring it with you (notes are allowed).
• Start a 7-day "dot log" at home: one sentence per day about transitions, conflict, or homework.
• Practice one micro-transition at home with a timer: "In 2 minutes, we're switching."
• Send one short follow-up email after the meeting: "Here's what I heard… Owner, Data, Date."
• Pick one. One is enough.

• Volcano Moments + Hurricane Level Feelings: What to say before your kid explodes
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/
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• Show notes + previous episodes: https://psyched2parent.com/podcast/

• https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/8017774015643/WN_PDHZiQKXTu-1eo_9_5NAiA

"This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area."

• If you're in a season where you love your kid deeply but your patience is somehow a single Tic Tac, this episode is for you.
• In this ALS Awareness Month mini, Dr. Amy Patenaude names the Helper Trap, explains why capacity shrinks in heavy seasons (it's not a character flaw), and gives you a simple plan to lower demands without losing connection.
• You'll leave with the Two Dials tool (Demands and Connection), a low-capacity script you can use today, and a clean repair line for the moment you snap and want to come back fast.

• Why "I'm snappy lately" is often a capacity season, not a character test
• What the Helper Trap looks like in real life and why it feels lonely
• The Two Dials tool: turn Demands down while protecting Connection
• Low-capacity scripts so you're not improvising while fried
• The after-school crash translation: "fine at school, falls apart at home"
• A repair script that brings you back without a long speech

• Drop one demand for 7 days (extras, not boundaries)
• Pick one connection anchor you can do on fumes (60 seconds counts)
• Use this line once: "I'm not available for a big thing right now, but I'm still here."
• Do one repair rep: "That came out sharp. I'm carrying a lot. I'm sorry. I love you. Let's try again."
• Choose one moment to protect connection on purpose (car line, snack time, lights out)
• Pick one. One is enough.

• Volcano Moments + Hurricane Level Feelings: What to say before your kid explodes
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/volcanomoments

• Family caregiving can involve high emotional stress, physical strain, and isolation, which can shrink a caregiver's capacity over time. This supports the core message of the episode: when you're carrying heavy stuff, you do not need a new personality, you need pacing, support, and repair.
• American Psychiatric Association blog on caregiver mental health
  https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/supporting-the-mental-health-of-family-caregivers
• APA policy page on family caregivers
  https://www.apa.org/about/policy/family-caregivers

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  https://www.instagram.com/psyched2parent/
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  https://www.facebook.com/psyched2parent/
• TikTok
  https://www.tiktok.com/@psyched2parent

• If you'd like to support Amy's fundraiser
  https://kyle-pease-foundation-inc.networkforgood.com/projects/297130-amy-patenaude-s-fundraiser

• Summer Without the Spiral: A Parent Workshop to Build a Simple Summer Plan for Learning, Play, Screens, and Sanity
  https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/8417774024742/WN_PDHZiQKXTu-1eo_9_5NAiA

• This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice.
• Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship.
• If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.