Why do so many strong, accomplished women still struggle to speak up — in relationships, at work, and in leadership? In this episode of Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan, Dr. Foojan Zeine sits down with renowned couples therapist, psychotherapist, and author Tonya Lester, author of “Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself,” to unpack why women so often silence themselves despite being raised to be independent, confident, and capable. Tonya shares how women frequently become emotional “shock absorbers” in relationships — softening their needs, avoiding conflict, and shrinking their voice to keep the peace. Together, she and Dr. Foojan explore the hidden patterns that lead to resentment and disconnection, why healthy conflict is essential for real intimacy, and how emotional maturity changes the way we communicate — at home and in the workplace. In This Episode You’ll Learn: ✔ Why successful women often lose their voice in relationships ✔ The hidden cost of people-pleasing and “shock absorbing” ✔ How to communicate assertively without anger or blame ✔ The difference between emotional maturity and emotional reactivity ✔ Why resentment grows when needs go unspoken ✔ How healthy conflict builds deeper love, trust, and intimacy ✔ Communication strategies for couples, leaders, and professionals ✔ How to set boundaries without damaging the relationship ✔ Why knowing your self-worth changes every conversation Timestamps: 0:00 – Intro: the pattern of “shock absorbing” in relationships 1:41 – About the International Awareness Integration Institute virtual clinic 2:54 – Foojan App update: flexible plans & AI-driven onboarding 4:22 – Welcome & introducing Tonya Lester and her book, Push Back 6:48 – Foojan App listener testimonial 7:22 – Mind-body & somatic services at Awareness Integration 8:44 – Interview begins: welcoming Tonya to the show 8:57 – Why Push Back focuses on women’s patterns 9:22 – How Tonya discovered this pattern in herself and clients 10:40 – What “shock absorbing” really looks like 14:36 – What it means to “be an adult” in a relationship 17:16 – Getting clear, concise, and direct about your needs 19:02 – What to do when your partner pushes back or resists 22:30 – How to prepare yourself before a hard conversation 24:58 – When and how to push back in the moment 26:54 – Anger vs. true assertiveness 29:16 – Do women hold back at work the same way as at home? 31:22 – Being labeled “difficult” for speaking up 34:05 – Grappling issues vs. deal-breakers: when to stay or go 36:01 – Advice for more traditional or patriarchal relationship dynamics 38:41 – Final thoughts: why speaking up creates real intimacy 39:44 – Where to find Tonya Lester 40:12 – Become AIT certified: training for therapists & coaches About Tonya Lester: Tonya Lester, LCSW, is a Brooklyn-based couples therapist, psychotherapist, and author of “Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself.” Her New York Times Modern Love essay “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself” and her Psychology Today column “Staying Sane Inside Insanity” have made her a go-to voice on relationships and communication. Her work has been featured in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPost, Fatherly, and Bumble’s The Buzz. Ready to find your own voice? Visit awarenessintegration.com to book a session with a licensed therapist or coach, or explore our psychotherapy, coaching, and mind-body services designed to help you feel seen, heard, and supported. 👍 Like, subscribe, and share to help more people build healthier, more honest relationships. Keywords: relationships, communication skills, healthy relationships, couples therapy, emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, boundaries, self-worth, women’s empowerment, relationship advice, conflict resolution, marriage advice, dating advice, assertive communication, people pleasing, self-esteem, leadership for women, workplace communication, emotional health, psychology, therapy podcast, Dr. Foojan, Tonya Lester, Push Back book, modern relationships, intimacy, marriage communication, personal growth, mental health podcast

Is your chronic pain real — even when every test comes back normal? The answer is yes. And the science of neuroplastic symptoms is finally explaining why. In this episode of Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan, Dr. Foojan Zeine sits down with Dr. David Clarke, MD — President of the Association for the Treatment of Neuroplastic Symptoms (ATNS), board-certified gastroenterologist and internal medicine physician, and author of They Can’t Find Anything Wrong: 7 Keys to Understanding, Treating, and Healing Stress Illness. If you’ve spent months going from doctor to doctor, run every test, and been told “everything looks normal” — this conversation is for you. Dr. Clarke and Dr. Foojan explore the powerful connection between childhood trauma, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), chronic stress, and the very real brain-generated physical symptoms that affect an estimated 40% of all medical patients. This is not “it’s all in your head.” This is neuroscience. 🔍 In This Episode You’ll Learn: • Why neuroplastic pain is not imaginary — it’s a measurable physical change in the brain • How childhood abuse, ACEs, and unresolved trauma create patterns of perfectionism, low self-esteem, and people-pleasing that manifest as physical illness decades later • Why the brain decides whether or not to generate a pain signal — and how stress and fear hijack that process • How the body holds trauma in protective postures — and why releasing those physical patterns is essential to healing • The case of a patient whose stomach was completely paralyzed due to chronic fear activation in the sympathetic nervous system • Why choking sensations, bowel problems, back pain, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue may all be neuroplastic in origin • The 7 key indicators Dr. Clarke uses to identify neuroplastic conditions • How autoimmune disease, cancer, diabetes, and heart disease risk all increase with higher ACE scores • Groundbreaking results from the Boulder Back Pain Study — 75% pain reduction in just 4 weeks, sustained over 5 years • How the UCLA study showed neuroplastic recovery therapy outperformed traditional CBT by nearly 4 to 1 • Why integrating medical and mental health care produces dramatically better outcomes than treating them separately ⏱ Timestamps 0:00 – Intro: Inner Voice Podcast 4:01 – Meet Dr. David Clarke: Neuroplastic Symptoms & Ending Chronic Pain 4:49 – “They Can’t Find Anything Wrong” — Why So Many Patients Are Left Without Answers 10:24 – Dr. Foojan’s Personal Experience With Somatic Symptoms & Trauma 12:20 – Dr. Clarke’s Origin Story: The Patient Who Changed His Career 15:19 – The Elevator Ride That Changed Everything (Counseling Cured a Physical Condition) 16:51 – From “Psychosomatic” to “Neuroplastic”: Why the Language Shift Matters 18:34 – How the Brain Decides Whether to Generate Pain (The Hammer & the Predator) 20:02 – How Trauma Is Held in the Body: Protective Postures & Muscle Memory 22:48 – The Paralyzed Stomach: Sympathetic Nervous System & Chronic Fear 25:31 – Case Study: Choking Sensations, Immigrant Trauma & the Vagus Nerve 28:27 – Childhood Trauma, Low Self-Esteem, Perfectionism & People-Pleasing 31:22 – The 7 Keys: How to Diagnose Neuroplastic vs. Physical Conditions 33:06 – Stress Triggers, Anxiety & Depression as Hidden Drivers of Physical Symptoms 35:32 – Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): The Biggest Category of All 37:01 – Neuroplasticity & Recovery: Mindset, Meaning & Healing from Real Illness 39:16 – Autoimmune Disease, Cancer & the ACE Connection 41:40 – The Research: Boulder Back Pain Study & UCLA Clinical Trial Results 43:17 – Why Physician + Mental Health Collaboration Gets the Best Outcomes 44:57 – Where to Find Dr. Clarke & Free Resources at symptomatic.me 45:37 – Closing: Dr. Foojan on AIT Certification & Living Fully 📚 Resources Mentioned: 📖 They Can’t Find Anything Wrong by Dr. David Clarke → available wherever books are sold 🌐 Free self-assessment quiz + videos + courses: symptomatic.me 🌐 Therapy, coaching, mind-body & functional medicine: www.iaii.life 📱 The Foojan App — AI-powered support between sessions, available now #ChronicPain #NeuroplasticPain #StressIllness #TraumaHealing #MindBodyConnection #DrFoojan #InnerVoicePodcast #DrDavidClarke #ACEs #ChildhoodTrauma #UnexplainedSymptoms #Neuroplasticity #FibromyalgiaRelief #ChronicFatigue #SomaticHealing #BackPain #AutoimmuneDisease #MentalHealthAwareness #BrainBodyHealing #AwarenessIntegration #ATNS #StressAndHealth #HolisticHealth #PsychosomaticPain #VagusNerve #TraumaRecovery #PerfectionismAndHealth #EmotionalRegulation #FunctionalMedicine

EPISODE 459 | INNER VOICE – A HEARTFELT CHAT WITH DR. FOOJAN What if anger isn't something to suppress, avoid, or fear—but a powerful emotion that can be understood, managed, and transformed into a force for growth? In this compelling episode of Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan, Dr. Foojan Zeine welcomes renowned psychologist, author, and anger management expert Dr. Mitch Abrams for a deep conversation about the psychology of anger, emotional regulation, trauma, resilience, relationships, and personal transformation. Drawing from more than two decades of experience in sport psychology, clinical psychology, forensic psychology, and correctional mental health, Dr. Abrams challenges the common belief that anger is a "negative emotion." Instead, he explains how anger can become a valuable ally when recognized early, understood properly, and channeled effectively. As Chief Psychologist overseeing psychological services for seven New Jersey state prisons and Founder of Learned Excellence for Athletes, Dr. Abrams offers unique insights into how anger impacts athletes, executives, families, couples, and society at large. Together, Dr. Foojan and Dr. Abrams explore the emotional, cognitive, and physiological aspects of anger, providing practical tools for emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and lasting personal growth. Based on his groundbreaking book, "I'm Not F***ing Angry!!! Adjust the Flames to Get What You Want and Need," this episode reveals how to move beyond emotional reactivity and cultivate greater clarity, confidence, and resilience. 🎙️ IN THIS EPISODE: • Understanding why anger is not a negative emotion • How childhood experiences and trauma shape emotional reactions • The difference between healthy anger and destructive rage • Emotional regulation strategies for high performers • Gender differences in expressing anger • Cognitive distortions and hidden anger triggers • Early warning signs of emotional escalation • The role of forgiveness, accountability, and healing • Revenge, resentment, and emotional freedom • Social media, political polarization, and collective anger • Relationship dynamics and conflict resolution • Building resilience, self-awareness, and emotional mastery ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 01:39 Why Anger Isn't a Negative Emotion 04:03 Meet Dr. Mitch Abrams 09:15 Interview Begins 09:38 Why Mitch Studies Anger 12:14 Dr. Foojan's Personal Anger Journey 13:50 The Truth About Anger 15:56 Men, Women & Anger 20:02 A Different Approach to Anger Management 22:01 Early Detection of Anger 23:16 Albert Ellis & Cognitive Distortions 26:03 Hidden Anger Triggers 27:28 Recognizing Warning Signs 28:23 Anger, Authority & Public Speaking 30:24 Apologies & Accountability 32:39 Forgiveness & Letting Go 36:42 Revenge and Resentment 40:18 Social Media, Politics & Collective Anger 45:50 Anger in Relationships 47:30 Long-Term Power vs. Short-Term Wins 49:19 Final Thoughts on Anger 50:20 Where to Find Mitch Abrams 51:11 Closing Remarks 📘 ABOUT DR. MITCH ABRAMS Dr. Mitch Abrams is a psychologist specializing in sport, clinical, and forensic psychology. He serves as Chief Psychologist for Rutgers University Correctional Health Care, overseeing psychological services within multiple correctional facilities. He is also a Clinical Assistant Professor at Rutgers Health–Robert Wood Johnson Medical School and Founder of Learned Excellence for Athletes. His latest book, "I'm Not F***ing Angry!!! Adjust the Flames to Get What You Want and Need," offers a transformative approach to understanding and managing anger for healthier relationships, stronger leadership, and peak performance. 🌿 TAKE THE FREE CLARITY ASSESSMENT Discover your emotional patterns and gain deeper self-awareness: [www.iaii.life](http://www.iaii.life) 🎧 SUBSCRIBE for more conversations on psychology, mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, personal growth, trauma healing, leadership, resilience, and conscious living. #AngerManagement #EmotionalIntelligence #MentalHealth #Psychology #DrFoojan #MitchAbrams #EmotionalRegulation #TraumaHealing #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #MentalResilience #ForensicPsychology #SportsPsychology #Relationships #Leadership #Healing #Psychotherapy #InnerVoicePodcast #PeakPerformance #Mindset