There's a phrase I use all the time. With my kids. With my wife. I even say it at the TV when a pundit is losing their mind about something that clearly has nothing to do with what they're actually upset about.

Remember what you're mad at.

Because most of the time when someone is angry, they're not actually angry at what they're reacting to. The partner who gets snapped at about something small. The friend who catches a reaction way bigger than what they said. The kid who's standing right there when something goes wrong.

That last one is personal. I have a story about my oldest son, a toddler, and a flight of basement stairs that I've been carrying for a long time. And somewhere in the middle of recording this episode I realized the apology I gave him wasn't complete.

This episode is about where anger actually belongs versus where it lands. What it quietly does to the people closest to you when it keeps going to the wrong place. And what it actually means to own it fully, not just enough to move past it.

This one connects to two FOPICA pillars, Ownership and Intentionality, because fixing this takes both.

And yes. I'm calling my son after this.

The FOPICA Principle is available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.
How Long Do I Wait to Honk? is also available on Amazon.