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Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible is the show where Pittsburgh stand-up comedians and ELCA pastors sit down with the week's gospel text — and see what happens when nobody's too precious about it.

This week Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) return as Resident Comic Theologians for a Short Take on John 17:1-11, the High Priestly Prayer — Jesus's long, looping, recursive prayer on the last night before the crucifixion. It's the 7th Sunday of Easter, the church where CPTB records is being sold to a Sheetz developer, and Jesus is praying in circles. Which, it turns out, might be the most honest thing anyone's ever done.

Expect:

• Why the Trinity doesn't work on a logical level, and why that might actually be the point
• The High Priestly Prayer as Jesus's big showstopper — his "Defying Gravity," the number where the lights dim down
• A religion founded on the Big Lebowski, and why the cross ties the whole place together
• Abby's assembled crack legal team (Brittany, Alexis, Rebecca Canterbury, James J. Hamilton — different specialties, all bases covered)
• Whether Hamlet is the Lion King or the Lion King is Hamlet — Abby rules, decisively
• The theological case that old church buildings are just holding cells for Spirit Halloween

"Jesus is proof that sometimes you have to trust your friends even when they're talking in a way that's really annoying." — Erick Williams

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Luke 24:44–53 (NRSVue)

[44] Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you—that everything written about me in the law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms must be fulfilled.” [45] Then he opened their minds to understand the scriptures, [46] and he said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day [47] and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. [48] You are witnesses of these things. [49] And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised, so stay here in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” [50] Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. [51] While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven. [52] And they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy, [53] and they were continually in the temple blessing God.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

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Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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A note to our audience: We're taking a week off from our normal mix of comedy and Bible study. We'll jump back into the readings next week. In the meanwhile, we're pleased to present...

CPTB Special: Library After Dark Comedy Showcase (Part 1)

A pastor walks into a library and tells jokes. The books didn't leave.

This special episode takes you inside the room for Library After Dark, CPTB's debut comedy showcase at the Monroeville Public Library — an evening of standup that felt right at home among the stacks.

• Co-host Pastor Eric Damon steps out from behind the podcast mic and into the spotlight, opening the show with a 3am gas station story that only works if you're wearing a clerical collar
• Abby Evans follows with a set about books, birthdays, Mary Shelley, teaching special ed, and what it feels like when your students think you personally witnessed the 1900s

"I'm the 1900s that watched Rugrats Take Paris on an orange VHS tape." — Abby Evans

More sets from the Library After Dark showcase are coming. The full show — including headliner Georgia Wartler — will be released as a complete special.

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

What do cookies have to do with the resurrection? More than you'd think. Resident Comic Theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) join Pastors Eric and Bob for a short take on John 14:1–14 — the "I am the way, the truth, and the life" passage — and end up somewhere between funeral theology, grief policing, and Thomas asking Jesus to please just answer the question.

• Why "do not let your hearts be troubled" is one of the most misused lines in funeral history
• Thomas as the pragmatist apostle who does not sign documents without clarification
• The I AM tradition in John's gospel and why soldiers fell down at the arrest
• "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it" — and why pastors quietly skip that verse
• Abby's story about a priest who compared death to getting an oatmeal raisin cookie when you wanted chocolate chip

"I believe you, Jesus. But at the time you said this, school shootings weren't a concept in anyone's mind." — Abby Evans

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John 14:1–14 (NRSVue)

"Jesus said to his disciples, 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.' Thomas said to him, 'Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?' Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.' Philip said to him, 'Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.' Jesus said to him, 'Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, "Show us the Father"? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.'"

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.