Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services cover art

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

By: Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services
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Summary

 Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon, cofounder of Choose Recovery Services, and his guests share tools for addiction recovery, relationship repair, and emotional healing. Learn to rebuild trust, live with integrity, and create authentic connections as you heal from pain and go Beyond the Facade.Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man

    96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man
    May 14 2026
    What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?Spoiler: Usually not what people think.In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.But first—you have to feel.Chapters02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like04:21 High Performing Shut down09:33 Inside the Shutdown12:59 Signs and Logic17:14 Learning Emotional Safety19:55 Tears and the Body22:21 Busy vs Stillness24:08 Chasing Intensity29:53 Numbness and Dissociation38:28 Individuation and ReconnectionWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    44 mins
  • 95: Humility in Recovery: Why Men Protect Their Identity After Betrayal - with Ryan Collins

    95: Humility in Recovery: Why Men Protect Their Identity After Betrayal - with Ryan Collins
    May 7 2026
    What keeps men hiding — even after they’ve been caught?In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Ryan Collins, a peer mentor for Choose Recovery support groups, unpack the role humility plays in recovery from betrayal, addiction, shame, and relational disconnection.Ryan vulnerably shares how fear, image protection, and shame kept him stuck in trickle truth for months — and how surrender and authenticity ultimately became the very thing that saved his marriage.Together they explore:The difference between humiliation and humilityWhy men protect their identity after getting caughtHow shame fuels defensiveness and trickle truthWhy accountability creates connectionHow honesty became the very thing that saved Ryan’s marriageThe role of vulnerability, empathy, and surrender in healingChapters01:31 Meet Ryan03:49 Pillar One: Self Honesty07:59 Trickle Truth and Surrender12:25 Pillar Two: Being Influenced18:48 Accountability in Conflict22:24 Pillar Three: Identity Release29: 59 Freedom and Daily Practice32:45 EncouragementWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    36 mins
  • 94: Why You Feel Stuck: The Difference Between Sobriety and Real Change

    94: Why You Feel Stuck: The Difference Between Sobriety and Real Change
    Apr 30 2026
    Most men in recovery aren’t failing because they aren’t trying hard enough. They’re failing because they’re aiming at the wrong target.In this episode, Luke sits down with Matt Wenger, MA, LPC, CCPS, CSAT and Executive Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, to break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in sex addiction recovery: the difference between staying busy and actually healing.They discuss:What intensive treatment really doesInpatient vs outpatient recoveryWhy resentment quietly grows in early recoveryWhy betrayed partners still don’t feel safeHow men move from sobriety into true recoveryIf recovery feels like a hamster wheel, this conversation may explain why.Chapters01:21 Introducing Matt Wenger04:43 Why Hard Work Stalls09:11 What Intensives Actually Do12:24 Two Weeks vs Longer Rehab17:02 Partner Expectations After Intensive21:54 Gym Metaphor for Recovery27:02 Choosing Quality TreatmentWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERENEW at Choose Recovery Services!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    37 mins
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